FanFic Critic Chronicles: Forgiveness
by xXx.The Black Knight.xXx
Summary: An AU where the events of Episode 140 never happened. Susan can hear the FanFic Critic pacing upstairs. She knows what's troubling her cousin. So, she goes up there to tell the FanFic Critic something that she's been keeping a secret for a while now. How will the FanFic Critic react?


The pacing could be heard from the ground floor. Susan looked up at the kitchen ceiling with a sigh before taking a sip of her tea. It was the FanFic Critic who was pacing above her. She had been pacing a lot, lately. Susan, though, did not know why. She highly doubted that it had anything to do with fanfiction because the FanFic Critic didn't appear to be angry. She appeared distant. Susan let out another sigh as she sipped more of her hot drink.

_It's my death…I'm sure of it._

That explained it in Susan's mind. Why else would the FanFic Critic be so distant? True, she didn't seem as suicidal since the incident of Episode 111, but the Critic was still showing signs that she was still guilt ridden. Susan practically gulped the rest of her tea, which she soon regretted for it burned her throat.

"Ow…bloody idiot…" she said aloud to herself as she discarded the cup into the sink. She rubbed her throat as she exited the kitchen and made her way into the hallway.

_I am going to get through to her once and for all so she'll stop punishing herself for that bloody incident, even if it kills me!_

Susan marched up the stairs with determination. When she made it up the stairs, Susan forcefully pulled the door open, ready to give the FanFic Critic a piece of her mind. The FanFic Critic herself twirled around to face her roommate in slight surprise. She held her straight blade tightly with it open. Susan got the wrong impression with the blade and she angrily approached the FanFic Critic.

"Going to commit suicide again, eh?" Susan snarled as she grabbed the hand that held the blade. The FanFic Critic gave her a confused look.

"Why would I do that?" she questioned, keeping a firm hold on the blade.

"Oh, don't play dumb with me!" Susan pinched the skin on the FanFic Critic's wrist. The Critic grimaced in pain and loosened her grip on the blade. Susan took the blade forcefully from the FanFic Critic, keeping her glare set firmly on her friend. The FanFic Critic stared at Susan with utter confusion, rubbing the spot where she was pinched.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? MY problem?" Susan screeched, "My problem is you, dearie! You won't let go of the bloody past and you're even willing to kill yourself because of it!" The FanFic Critic stared at Susan.

"I wasn't going to kill myself," she replied quietly. Susan stared back wildly, bringing the straight blade right up to the FanFic Critic's face.

"Explain this, then!" she growled. Susan had the blade close enough where it was lightly touching the Critic's cheek but it wasn't enough to hurt her. Most people would be frightened by this sudden threat but the FanFic Critic only regarded the blade indifferently. She calmly grabbed the blade, which caused Susan's eyes to widen in shock. With ease, the FanFic Critic pulled the blade from Susan's grasp.

"Holding it makes me feel calm and at ease," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. Susan watched in shocked silence as the FanFic Critic examined the long cut on her hand, "Oops. I wonder if we have any gauze in the medicine cabinet. Could you go into the bathroom and check?"

Letting out a roar of anger, Susan roughly grabbed the FanFic Critic and dragged her out of the room and into the bathroom's entrance on the adjacent wall. She forced the Critic to sit down on the closed toilet before turning for the cabinet.

"You piss me off! Do you know that? You piss me off, you bloody twat!" Susan yelled as she ripped through the medicine cabinet. When she found what she was looking for, she turned her attention back to the FanFic Critic. After getting down on her knees, Susan took the bottle of witch hazel and poured some of its contents on a cotton ball. After she screwed the cover back on and placed it on the floor, Susan roughly took the FanFic Critic's hand and began to vigorously clean the open cut. The FanFic Critic stiffened slightly but didn't do anything to resist.

"May I ask why I piss you off?" She asked calmly. Susan glared at her.

"You piss me off because you do stupid things like this!"

"Well, were you not about to cut me with the blade yourself?"

"I WASN'T GOING TO CUT YOU WITH IT, YOU IDIOT!"

The FanFic Critic looked at Susan calmly as her friend glared back. After a moment, she turned her gaze down to the floor, regaining that distant look in her eye. Susan's glare softened slightly when she realized how she had been acting. Her cleaning of the wound became gentler than it was before.

"Why did you grab the blade like that? You must've known it was going to cut you," Susan asked in a calmer voice than what she used earlier.

"I didn't think it would've cut me that bad," the FanFic Critic answered, "It was dumb on my part."

"Indeed it was," Susan replied shortly. She threw the cotton ball in the trash and reached for the gauze and placed it firmly over the wound. Susan then reached for the medical tape and began to wrap it around the hand slowly.

"So, why did you barge up to my room in the first place?" FanFic Critic asked softly. The way she asked it was in a timid manner, which took Susan by surprise, seeing the FanFic Critic was anything but timid.

"I could hear you pacing a hole in the floor from the kitchen," Susan answered, "So, I was wondering what was getting to you and I put two and two together. You're still beating yourself up over my death."

"Oh," the Critic answered.

"It's true, isn't it?" Susan asked. The FanFic Critic kept her gaze down as she bit her lip. Susan reached for her friend's chin and gently forced the FanFic Critic to look at her, "Is it true?"

"…yes." The response was very weak and soft.

"Why? Why do you continue to beat yourself up over it?" Susan asked. The FanFic Critic hesitated to answer. She wanted to look away but Susan wasn't going to let her anytime soon. The intensity in Susan's eyes were frightening but alluring at the same time. The Critic swallowed hard, deciding to answer her friend's question.

"I can't forgive myself."

"I have forgiven you, though."

"Yes but you have no recollection of what happened. You don't remember the fear you felt when I approached you with the blade. You don't remember pleading for your life as I brought the blade up to the base of your neck. You do not remember the trauma you went through that drove you to insanity. If you did, you would not be so easy to forgive me," the FanFic Critic said all of this in a very quiet tone. Her eyes got moist as she spoke but she didn't look away. Susan kept her stare on her friend with a neutral expression on her face. The two stared at each other in utter silence for at least a minute before Susan finally spoke.

"You are wrong," Susan said quietly.

"You can't say that for sure, Susan," the Critic replied back.

"I am sure."

"Really," the FanFic Critic asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yes, really. I remember it all." The FanFic Critic's face literally lost all of its color when Susan spoke this.

"What?" She asked; her whisper was hoarse. Susan stared at her calmly.

"I remember everything, Meg."

"How?"

"The day before I had you read that Animaniacs fanfiction, I decided to seek out the earth Dragon Balls. It didn't take me long to find them seeing the Ota-Kun Reviewer had them. After speaking to him, he beamed them to the house while you were at work. I made the wish to get my memories back," Susan answered calmly. The FanFic Critic was at a loss of words, trying to process what was said to her. Susan regarded her quietly before she turned her attention back to her previous task of bandaging up her friend's hand. When she finished, she took the FanFic Critic by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet. Carefully, she led them back to the FanFic Critic's bedroom.

"Why?" The question was barely above a whisper when it was asked but Susan heard it. She sat her friend down on the bed and then sat beside her.

"I needed to know what happened."

"No, you didn't. I had already told you," the Critic said weakly.

"That is true but after that incident regarding my revised list of your freak outs, I realized that I needed to know to prove to myself and to you that I could forgive you even with the memories," Susan answered softly.

"Susan…" The Critic couldn't continue. Her walls to keep her emotions in tact were starting to crumble.

"I've had the memories for a good amount of time, Meg. As you can see, I am not a Looney Toon nor am I traumatized by the memories. I am okay. I have moved past what happened. I know you feel remorse for what you did and I know what you went through to make things right. So, I have forgiven you. Before I had the memories, I had forgiven you and on the day I had gotten them back, I still had forgiven you. You see, it doesn't matter if I remember or not. My feelings are the same," Susan said calmly. The FanFic Critic stared ahead with a look of devastation on her face.

"…I still feel horrible. I can't help but feel horrible…those moments…the moments of your death and your insanity still haunt me…this…this is why I keep beating myself up over it…I killed my friend…I killed you…" The FanFic Critic was on the brink of losing it completely. Susan could finally see how much this was really affecting her troubled friend. So, she got up and pulled the Critic to her feet yet again. Susan held the Critic's shoulders firmly as she looked deeply into her friend's eyes.

"You need to forgive yourself," Susan said firmly.

"I can't," the FanFic Critic replied weakly. Susan squeezed her shoulders slightly.

"I have forgiven you. I even got my memories back to prove that I have forgiven you," Susan said desperately. The Critic closed her eyes, allowing the tears to finally spill. Susan, in a final act to get through to her friend, pulled her into a tight hug. The Critic immediately hugged her back, finally letting all of that pent up emotion out.

"I'm sorry," the FanFic Critic whimpered. She held onto Susan as if she was afraid she was going to suddenly disappear.

"I know you are. It's okay. I've forgiven you," Susan answered back softly. The FanFic Critic cried softly into her friend's shoulder. Susan gently rubbed her back and hugged her tighter.

The two stayed like this for what felt like hours, with the FanFic Critic crying softly and Susan holding her close. Eventually, the two parted when the Critic finally calmed down. The two got ready for bed and headed off to their separate rooms. Even though the Critic didn't speak much after the fact, Susan could tell that she had finally forgiven herself. With a smile, Susan closed her eyes and fell asleep, knowing that both she and the Critic were finally at ease.

The End


End file.
